Kathy Stolecki
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Making Connections that Count

10/14/2018

1 Comment

 
As spiritual beings having a human experience, we all need to feel connected:  to others, to ourselves, to God, to nature – you name it.  It is very telling that drug dealers are often called ‘connections’.  Yes, feeling connected is one of our basic needs.    
 
When we feel connected, we thrive.  Connections need to nurture us.  They need to support our spiritual, emotional, intellectual and physical growth.  When they don’t, they need to be scrutinized and removed from our lives.  This can be a difficult process.
 
What happens when we become addicted to substances, to food, or actions that inhibit our growth and prevent us from thriving?  Denial can blind us to the reality of the situation.  We need others to help us see what’s truly going on.  We need the honest feedback of others, including ‘tough love’ and support in order to move out of denial and into acceptance that ‘yes, this thing is not good for me. I need to make a change’. 
 
There are many 12-Step programs and treatment options available for various addictions.  Admitting and accepting on a deep level that one is powerlessness, and moving toward the personal empowerment of saying ‘no’ to active addiction – these are the first steps of the recovery process.  During this time it is quite normal to experience feelings of sadness when giving up one’s drug of choice.  Yes, grief is a very normal part of the recovery journey.
 
It can be helpful to write a ‘goodbye’ letter to one’s drug of choice, recounting the good, the bad and the ugly of one’s using history.  What may have started out as an innocent curiosity or way of socializing or coping with life’s challenges has, at some point, become destructive and needs to be let go of, and yet this doesn’t negate the sadness of saying goodbye to an ‘old friend’.  
 
It is important to conclude this letter with what you are hopeful about, what you are looking forward to, by moving on from addiction to a life of empowerment.  Then, find a safe person to share this letter with, as a way of validating your experience.
 
I’ll be sharing other tools in the coming weeks. Until then, I’d love to hear from you:
 
  • What are you powerless over?
  • What addiction(s), if any, do you struggle with?
  • If you’re in recovery from an addiction, do you recall going through a grieving process, and if so, how did you move through it?  
 
To Comment, just click the blue Comment on the page or see the field below. If you prefer to share just your first name, that works!
 
Until next time, be gentle with yourself, smile and Shine Your Light!
1 Comment
Paula schweizer
11/11/2019 11:14:55 pm

Hi there. I don’t know if you remember me, but I worked as a health coach with you in San Diego.
I saw a memory of your pop up on my Facebook feed, which led me to your page - blog, e book and coaching page.

It’s funny, because no matter how small or significant an issue, I always think to the five stages I’d grieving. With alcohol I feel like it worked until it didn’t work, I sort of came to the conclusion that I wasn’t sorry to see it go, once I realized that it wasn’t serving me well. I was no longer sad to see it go, once I figured that part out. Thanked it and it was a happy breakup, almost like a friendship and growing alart if that makes sense.

Anyway, love hour blog, can’t wait to read your book and would love to discuss and find out more about your life coaching,

This is an older post, so I hope you see my comment.

All the best
Paula

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    About Kathy

    As a National Certified Health and Wellness Coach, I specialize in the following issues:
    • dealing with grief and loss
    • issues related to growing up in an alcoholic/dysfunctional family, ie self-esteem, grief, stress management, inner child.
    • quitting smoking or vape
    I have been on a spiritual quest throughout my life, seeking answers to some of life’s deep questions: 
    • Why are we here? 
    • What happens after we die?
    • If God is Love, why does God allow us to suffer pain and loss?
    • How can we find peace and joy amidst the challenges and changes in life? 
    I have long been drawn to these deep ponderings, as well as to a life of service. I entered the convent at 20 years old, was blessed to get sober while in the convent, felt led to leave two years later, and then continued my spiritual journey.

    You can read my spiritual memoir ‘Waking Up Sober in a Convent – and Other Spiritual Adventures’ – click on the Book tab at top of page or go to www.KathyStolecki.com 
    ​
    Along the way I’ve found spiritual tools to aid my recovery from addictions and codependency, have learned the power of being true to myself, have discovered the gift of freedom by dealing with grief and loss and have found spiritual nuggets of GOLD which I’m so excited to share with you! I will be sharing these nuggets with you in my blog.

    I am also available to support you on your journey as your Coach. See my Coaching page for more information. 

    I am eager to hear from you: 
    • what challenges do you face? 
    • what helps you get through tough times? 
    Comment Feature is now working. Just click on 'Comments' and leave your comment. I look forward to hearing from you!!

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